Originally posted on Ronda’s former blog, Modern Day Gypsy, on October 22, 2016.
I woke up this morning with a soft emptiness filled with so many questions about my life. As I lied there in the middle of my storm, being with it and allowing the tears to come and go and my heart to love and hurt at the same time, I knew the calm would come, and all would be OK. The answers would find their way to me, as they have so many times before. With that, I found comfort.
As I got my hiney up and moved the shooting pain in my joints out of my body, I made my way to the living room where my three nieces were sleeping (two of them wanted to sleep in the same room as my mom and the other graciously gave me her bed to sleep in while we were visiting them). My youngest niece saw me and motioned for me to sit beside her as she dozed back off to sleep. As I sat next to her in my blanket of emotions, I looked at her ten-year-old gentleness and smiled at her tiny, colorful, blond braids and soft demeanor as she slept. At that moment, I was reminded that my life had provided me with so many lessons and beautiful moments, and it’s those simple and small moments that are the foundation that connects our human fabric.
Without them, what are we living for?
Sometimes, I forget this. Sometimes, it feels like grand accomplishments or grandeur is needed to validate my existence, when in reality, those types of moments, even if they happen, don’t matter if I don’t have the connections and the relationships–ones that I get to choose–with which to share them. The simple, day-to-day moments are the only way to the grand events in life, and further, grand events aren’t required for a life of love, compassion, and meaning. The daily moments of connection matter most.
As I sat there and watched my niece and allowed my mind to ponder all of this and the questions that had surfaced earlier before my feet hit the floor, I was also reminded that there was a time in my life when I was more open and would frequently say, “If anyone can learn anything from my mistakes or life, then why not share?” The truth is, certain life events and circumstances have created a scenario that has prompted me to hide myself a bit (or a lot) from others and the world more than I’d like to admit.
None of us, especially as women, can afford to hide who we are. My nieces, nephew, our youth, and the future generations need to see women who are bold and brave and comfortable in their own skin, while also being kind, compassionate, and gentle; especially with the events going on in our world today–we are needed more than ever.
I had started the following prose linked below a while back but knew it wasn’t complete. This morning’s thoughts and occurrences brought me back to it to complete it. (Please) Be Gentle with My Life is a reflection of the above thoughts if you are so inclined to read it.
Here’s to sharing, loving, boldness, compassion, and allowing ourselves to “be seen.”
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